a visual story: intuition

the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.

I remember me
as a kid who believed
all the things that shone 

the sun, the stars, those beautiful words capable of working out wars 

but after all these years
here I sit
with a world with all these things
but the magic is gone 

I wonder if it's the reality 
blocking the light

or if it's just that
my intuition no longer seeks what's right

I remember being emotionally connected with this word after finish The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It was a book I shouldn't have read. For the philosophy of life described in it was not for a YA-obsessed kid that I was back in those years. I would have got more wisdom out of it than I did.
There was this word 'omen' repeatedly mentioned in The Alchemist; the signs from the great universe that would lead to great things in life. It was around that time that I was googling words like omen and came across intuition and other literally magical words of that sort. A lot of those words vanished away but what stayed was intuition.

Today, let me tell you the story of this word.

Going back to The Alchemist's story, the boy in the book learns to trust omens and his intuition through different things - weather, people, birds. The whole set up was so fascinating for me that I, too, started to find clues from the universe and destiny to show me ways to understand things. Those things were of a different sort; I thought it could enable me to see things before they happened, who to trust or understanding people in a spiritual manner.

I tried mastering the control of my intuition but it didn't work out. Now that I look at my super-19-year-old wisdom, intuition wasn't a toy to play for an adolescent. There were things I thought would TOTALLY happen because I could sense it but they didn't happen; they were never supposed to happen. My intuition wasn't guiding me as if it wasn't there at all.

I was partly disheartened after my little experiment. It seemed to me that the universe didn't want me to be the one who could understand its signs and clues. And I lost the power of decision making to an extent that I wouldn't even trust something I saw with my own eyes. That time was difficult, very difficult. It took me ages to get over the games of intuition yet every time something like the presence of omens is discussed, I am always a little uncomfortable.

Honestly, I do think (even firmly now) that the universe leaves us signs of events before they happen. A lot of people with a strong intuition and six senses can understand them before the rest of us. I, too, have felt the occurrence of an event way before it happened and this feeling did prepare me to face whatever was coming. This feeling doesn't feel alien or something too out of the world anymore. I am happy with my intuition. But only a few of us know the full story. Hey, but now you do, too.

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