The chaos is different this time. It's wrapped in the satin sheets of worries, with the thread of insecurities embroidered over those sheets. I have no idea how did they come together to form a masterpiece of my life crisis. beautifully and tragically. But one thing is certain; this whole situation is pretty suffocating.
I was up till 2 AM and wondered if I had to describe this metaphorically stormy week in a lyric, what would I choose?!? The answer came straight from my playlist. Ribs by Lorde's lyric
My mum and dad let me stay home, it drives you crazy getting old
I don't know what exactly Lorde was thinking when she was writing/singing/planning this song, but for me, this lyric sums up everything. Half of my worries are about not doing enough, not making a difference, not completing plans. It gets overwhelming and something inside me starts breaking like a LEGO building coming down; one piece at a time. This is where the lyric fits in. It fits because I am also certain that these worries are only here for a time and they will go away, what I am truly afraid of is the TIME and how it's RUNNING OUT even when it's only me wearing myself out thinking about it.
My mum and dad let me stay home: this somehow gives me an illusion in my head that one day, I will return from a long journey, in a life where I am grown up and settled and content, to home and there will be the rest of the family, the same cheery bright faces, talking loudly and I will stay there for a long long time
it drives you crazy getting old: I am not as worried about getting old as I am worried about getting old without doing all the things shining in my to-do list. It's a fear I am most afraid of. This part of lyric gives me a sight of an older me, worried but not worried as I am right now, worried in a i-will-fix-this kind of sense. And it gives me some peace
This lyric felt more like a reminder that life will go on anyways, great at some points, absolutely-not-great at some other, but in the end, I will land in peace. Surrounded by worries, but still, very much in peace.
If you could sum up your week in a lyric, what would you pick & why?