a visual story: intuition

the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.

I remember me
as a kid who believed
all the things that shone 

the sun, the stars, those beautiful words capable of working out wars 

but after all these years
here I sit
with a world with all these things
but the magic is gone 

I wonder if it's the reality 
blocking the light

or if it's just that
my intuition no longer seeks what's right

I remember being emotionally connected with this word after finish The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It was a book I shouldn't have read. For the philosophy of life described in it was not for a YA-obsessed kid that I was back in those years. I would have got more wisdom out of it than I did.
There was this word 'omen' repeatedly mentioned in The Alchemist; the signs from the great universe that would lead to great things in life. It was around that time that I was googling words like omen and came across intuition and other literally magical words of that sort. A lot of those words vanished away but what stayed was intuition.

Today, let me tell you the story of this word.

Going back to The Alchemist's story, the boy in the book learns to trust omens and his intuition through different things - weather, people, birds. The whole set up was so fascinating for me that I, too, started to find clues from the universe and destiny to show me ways to understand things. Those things were of a different sort; I thought it could enable me to see things before they happened, who to trust or understanding people in a spiritual manner.

I tried mastering the control of my intuition but it didn't work out. Now that I look at my super-19-year-old wisdom, intuition wasn't a toy to play for an adolescent. There were things I thought would TOTALLY happen because I could sense it but they didn't happen; they were never supposed to happen. My intuition wasn't guiding me as if it wasn't there at all.

I was partly disheartened after my little experiment. It seemed to me that the universe didn't want me to be the one who could understand its signs and clues. And I lost the power of decision making to an extent that I wouldn't even trust something I saw with my own eyes. That time was difficult, very difficult. It took me ages to get over the games of intuition yet every time something like the presence of omens is discussed, I am always a little uncomfortable.

Honestly, I do think (even firmly now) that the universe leaves us signs of events before they happen. A lot of people with a strong intuition and six senses can understand them before the rest of us. I, too, have felt the occurrence of an event way before it happened and this feeling did prepare me to face whatever was coming. This feeling doesn't feel alien or something too out of the world anymore. I am happy with my intuition. But only a few of us know the full story. Hey, but now you do, too.

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digital art + blog design work // start of 2017

it has been a while since I last posted about my design work here on the blog. from the very start of 2017, I have shifted my focus to a new kind of design and that is digital art. I also launched greetings cards that were sold on Instagram - giving me hope about the future of my design work. But blog designing was and will always be a part of me; something that I just can't stop doing.
so today, let me show you some of the digital design work I have worked on so far:
it's a custom blog design I did for Lydia from My Simple Little Life blog. working on custom designs always feels so so personal since this whole process is like giving shape and life and breathes to a vision that resided in someone else's mind. This blog design project was exactly the same. If you want me to design your blog as well, you can check out my portfolio and service.

the idea of digital art is too comforting for me. There are absolutely no restrictions. You can pick any photo, no matter if it's the skyline of your favorite city or the face of your celebrity crush, everything is possible. With this freedom attached to digital art, I started making digital collages. Currently, my work revolves around mixing Pakistani & South Asian famous phrases/proverbs with modern and contemporary techniques. I do plan to make other kinds of collages too, but for now, I have got these to show you.
خیالی پلاوُ پکانا (khayali pulao pakana) | to build castles in the air // collage art of my favorite Urdu proverb (meaning: to daydream; to make plans that can never come true)

this Urdu proverb has been a part of my life for as long as I can. The elders of my family used to use it for the young daydreams and when I grew up, I had to hear it for my own self as well. It's a sarcastic phrase but when you look closely, the meaning of this proverb is more inclined towards not losing your mind in daydreaming. Dream as high as you want but don't let it all hurt your present.

I changed this lyric from Justin Bieber's song Sorry that says 'is it too late now to say sorry, 'cause I am missing more than just your body ~to~ 'is it too late now to say sorry, 'cause I am missing your haath ki biryani' (which means someone's hand-cooked biryani, which is a very popular south asian dish). Since I LOVE biryani, this twist in Biebz song was actually very very accurate.
(if you ever come across it Bieber, please don't mind. I love the original one even more but food comes first).

next collage is about the classical Pakistani problem and that is 'log kya kahen gai?' (what would people say?)
I have seen people ditching their dreams, plans, even careers because they're too afraid of what the society is going to think if it's not something others wholeheartedly approve of. Log Kya Kahen Gai is a reference to society's judgmental opinion (which is usually kind of biased). I really respect my cultural terms and traditions,  but I cannot stand where they are absolutely wrong. This collage came into existence as a protest against this disastrous phrase.

then here are the motivational greeting cards I designed in this very style and sold them on Instagram. They're called 'If Nike Was Desi' (desi is a term for the typical South Asians)
since Nike's logo says 'just do it' and it is considered a motivational phrase. But when I had to desi-fy it, the motivational level had to at par with my wonderful people as well. So I added khuda ka wasta (which means for god's sake) with just do it. And my friend, it worked well.

annd I also designed a ~chic~ media kit for Caitlin from Cait's Cozy Corner (I also designed her blog). You can check it out here.

so this is a little summary of what I have been doing so far. There are more art collage pieces on my Instagram and much more is yet to come. It had been a while since I last posted on my blog and asI type this post, I wanna buy my blog chocolates and write handwritten apology for being this bad owner *sighs* I am going to try my best to change this sad troubled fact yasss

PS: i just got a profile at Famous Birthdays. Their team surprised me on a fine morning with a fabulous profile and lots of love, it feels unreal to have it TBH bUT I AM SO SO HAPPY

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photo diary: metanoia

Metanoia - the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self or way of life.

today's photo diary is based on this word that effortlessly stole my heart - metanoia

when I googled it, it appeared to mean more like a transformative term; a change of heart, a psychological transformation, a spiritual conversion.

my journey of change has been a bumpy ride. It's not easy to embrace it. It arrives like a noisy kid who wants every beautiful thing you have and snatch it ungratefully, usually throwing it down with a thud so loud, it hurts your ear. And destroy whatever it threw; totally, completely, absolutely. 

What I have learned so far is that nobody remembers your journey of transformation, but they can hardly forget what you become after that. 

in past few years, my idea of change has taken a lot of shifts. Now it doesn't only mean replacing something, it also means adding elements to an existing body and make it something new. The idea of the replacement is fading away for me. I'm learning to change things in a different manner.

in this photo set, i'm exploring the idea of metanoia. the elements of the photos are contradictory and depict the change only a supreme transformation could bring.

no matter where you are or who you choose to become, I hope you allow change to visit you after every once in a while and let it transform you, let it make you think and then leave you as a person who's not entirely changed but only better than before.

what is your current favorite word & why?

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latest on my youtube channel: ― when the time comes (spoken word poetry + writing tips)
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