Forgiveness Is The Key

 I remember a lot of things from my childhood. Forgiveness isn't one of them.
I used to be a very hyper-angry-brat kind of child. And took pride in it. Now whilst I type it, it's not a thing of pride of anymore. But it did back then.
What is forgiveness for you? Forgiving people who said bad words to you or letting go of those who weren't kind? Is that all forgiveness is about? I might have more things to add.

Forgiveness is peace. It's the contentedness that there's absolutely no one in the world out there to disturb the peace of mind for you; even those who tried.

Forgiveness is smiling past the stormy events that shook your grounds but couldn't budge your steps.

Forgiveness is what human beings are made of. Yes, but there aren't really many humans out there. REAL.

I have already said, I wasn't a forgiving child. Eye for an eye. Kick for a kick. Culture, customs, or anything; they didn't forbid it. Forgiveness had conditions, but of course, they weren't clear enough for a kid to understand. For me to understand. Genes genes genes: mine lacked it.
I remember Amma Jaan, my mother, kept telling me how wrong it was to shout back. I told her the other person shouted first and I couldn't keep myself. She said I could forgive that person. I told her it would take my sleep away if I didn't shout back louder than the person who shouted first. And eventually, my mother had said something like, "I hope you'll learn the power of forgiveness someday."

It took longer than Amma Jaan might have expected. I didn't learn forgiveness until I realized I needed it, too.

It's easy to shout back, kick back, curse back. But it's indeed harder to let it go. For these little vile acts would never stop and shouts would become shrieks, kicks will become guns, and cursing will become court hearings someday. Just because someone didn't forgive.

I wonder if my mother's statement was actually a prayer that reached the heavens and I became a person with forgiveness in their dictionary. Unless I have no other idea how it could ever be possible for me to not opt for a shout back.

I am still learning. Because some situations don't call for forgiveness. But I am sure it would make its room wherever possible. Sometimes my lungs hurt for that good old shout but something stops it inside. It's not necessary. But one day or another, it might be. I hope to be forgiving on that day.

If I could tell you, in a nutshell, about the biggest lesson I learned on the way to be a better and progressive person: forgiveness is the key.
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What's in my Backpack? // VLOG


I am back with another vlog. This time, it's a What's in my Backpack?!?! video. I love seeing what everyone carries around and a backpack is sort of a must-have in alllll of my outside adventures. So, I decided to film it and it was so fun (yeah after like 300 tries it eventually happened).
Maybe it's a backpack. Maybe it's a cool backpack.


Well, to tell you the truth, I could carry my backpack everywhere. RLLY. Even in weddings and fancy events like that. But fancy events are not backpack friendly (aka un-lady-like) so I stick with the fancy clutches and forget about it while I am there.
Soooo here's the video. Subscribe to my channel and give this video a thumbs up.

What's the weirdest thing you carry in your bag? GO SEARCH IT RN!!!!

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The Rise Of The Writer

I might have a problem.
Ugh @ writer's block. Or more accurately, ugh 2x @ writer's confusion towards their work.

I had no idea what I was going to write after I returned from the hiatus of exams. I did a vlog but of course, it was quite different than writing something (I love to speak anyways). My pens were getting drier each time I start writing something and left it mid-sentence, my laptop protested when I sat isolated without its charger until it shut off. Things were becoming messier at my side of the world.

It's such a painful moment, actually paralyzing, to not being able to do what you want to do. I despise this feeling when I know I am unable to write or type a post or even compose a short tweet. Ugh moments 10x.

But, there's a way to end it and I just learned about it. To be able to do something perfectly, you have to do it anyways. You have to scribble down ugly words until they're brighter as diamonds, you have to take the risk of being wrong until you can manage to set it the right way. You gotta pull it off to see how bad it is and how it can get fixed.

I wrote this shortest poem before leaving for my 4 minutes of sky and it nearly solved all of my current problems.

"Another day is passing by,
And I have scribbled down some words,

They might be of little significance  for others,
Albeit for me; they are my swords."

*I have no idea what my words would mean to someone else, but they're my anchor. I need to keep writing to see where it leads. Morale of the story. Ta-da!

To everyone, I hope you do what you're inclined to do. Finish that painting even if it's looking hideous. Finish that poem even if it doesn't rhyme. Take that photo even if the composition bad. Put on that dress even if it looks larger than it really is. Give things a try before placing them in front the eyes of the world; place them before your own eyes and judge. Judge judge judge until you can either discard it completely or find a way to make it better.
Don't abandon it.

I guess my writer's block is over so I am going to get myself a cup of tea, a good scroll of some social media apps that probably don't even need a check on and then continue the Sidney Sheldon mystery I'm currently reading. Phew!

How do your work out your writer's block or any confusion in general? Spill dem secret.

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